I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
