question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
