redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
