Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
