White coat. Heels.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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