Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
