What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
