I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
