I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
