Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
