I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
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