I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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