No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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