The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she peed on how many people?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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