Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
