I wannas sexs uuuuu
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
