So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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