The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
