she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
