Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
