two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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