Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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