so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
