I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Come on in and take your pants off
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