she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
