About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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