Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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