I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
