You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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