so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
