she woke up with a sticky ear
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
