You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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