Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
