Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
