coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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