i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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