i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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