D3 body, D1 cock
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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