$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
