i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
