either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
