Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
