he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
