Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
