I skipped work to stalk him.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
