Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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