is your mom at the bar?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Actions speak louder than pants.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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