the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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