they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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