my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
