we have pet lesbian snakes
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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